James Harmer

I’m confused…

Things that have happened in the last two years, that I did NOT expect what soever have really been the defining points of the last two years.  And strangely enough, the ones I thought would be the worse, have been some of the best, and some of the ones that I thought would be the best have been the absolute worse…  I feel completely unable to predict how something is going to turn out.  It’s like, if you hand me a piece of cake and say “James, do you think this piece of cake will taste good?  It’s your favorite!”  I will just be like, “I don’t know…  I’m gonna have to eat it first.”  Even though I just ate one a minute before and told you I loved it…  strange huh?  Ok, maybe not Cake…  but I guess it’s more people and circumstances that are getting harder to interpret.  I have been wrong about SO MANY things in the last year, and I’ve been finding that I know allot less than I thought I did.

Isn’t this how life is supposed to be?  Or at least, a good portion of it?  Thinking you get something and feeling comfortable about it…  realizing you don’t get it and panicking…  trying to figure it out….  than realizing and taking comfort that if your life is given to Christ it doesn’t matter if you get it?  It’s like the U2 song Beautiful Day, “What you don’t know you can feel somehow, what you don’t have you don’t need it now.”  That’s true, there are things where we can feel, even though we don’t know…  and there are MANY things we don’t have that we don’t need…  in fact, we don’t need anything if we don’t have it or we’d be…  dead!  So, that one there is more of a no-brain-er.

God did some amazing things Friday night, I had never preached before and to see those people come to the altar just blew my mind….  God actually used me in a way that I had always disqualified myself from, and other people had as well.  God is truly amazing isn’t He?  You know, God puts a desire in us to do something…  like a fire in us, that he starts.  Maybe it doesn’t look right to someone else, so they try to put it out…  maybe they don’t understand, regardless we have to keep it alive.  It was over three years ago that I got a desire to lead worship and preach, and I never did it because I believed I was unworthy…  but it really is true, “God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies those He calls.”  When does that statement become more than a Cliche’?  When you take it and run with it, that’s when…  when you experience it, when you believe it… that’s when.

Well, that’s all for now.  I’m off to bed I guess….  or to sit around and do nothing until I finally fall asleep(more likely.)  And boy…  do I have a lot to pray for.  Our God is an Amazing God!

-James’