James Harmer

Did you ever notice that when someone has a problem with something we do(anything, regardless of whether we think it’s wrong or not), the first thing we do is look for error in what they say?The first thing we seem to do is try to find a reason to discredit what they say and defend what we are doing.  Why are we so quick to defend what we like to do, and so slow to question if it’s right/wrong?  Is it just because we like to do it?

When ever anybody says to me “James…. I think that ___ is wrong.  You should really think about it….”, immediately I seem to look for a defense for what I’m doing and a reason to reject whatever truth might be in what the person is saying.  I seem to pick stupid reasons sometimes like “They don’t even know me…” or “They don’t understand…” or “Like they’ve never done that…”.  The stupidest one of all is probably “Oh, so they’re so much ‘Holier’ than me?”.

You konw why that is so stupid?  Because they probably are living Holier than I am (and I should praise God for that, rather than criticize them for it), whether they know me or not has nothing to do with the truth of what they speak, whether they understand has nothing to do with whether it’s right or wrong, and if they have done it before doesn’t have any bearing on whether it’s right or wrong.  We come up with the stupidest reasons to defend things that we want to do, reasons that make the person who tries to help us by showing us some of our problems that we might not be seeing feel stupid and intrusive.  We seem to see people who dare to ascribe to a Holier standard in their lives as “stuck up” or “arrogant”…. what if instead we looked up to them?  What if instead we looked for truth in what they said and if we found it we gladly embraced it?  I realize that this is much easier said than done, but think about how different things would be.

What if instead of jumping to look for error in what people criticize us for, we jumped to look for truth in what they say?  What if we view criticism as our friend and stopped being arrogant about how non-arrogant we are?  Even if what someone says isn’t true, it can still help us.  And I have found that if I can get over myself and genuinely listen to criticisms with an open mind, I can generally find at least some truth in them.

God make me more like that….

-James