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Hmmm… that’s a lot of things to try to tackle in one entry isn’t it?!  Especially when I think about the fact that I just finished working, and I have company coming over in minus 10 minutes…  and I was supposed to be showered and ready when they got here.  Oh well, I haven’t written a good entry in over a year, and this just might be a good one… so I’m gonna take a chance.

So… what am I writing about?  Let’s start with singleness…  I think there are two basic seasons in life, singleness and… well, uh… non-singleness?  Maybe I should word it singleness and marriage?  I’ve heard lots of people talk about why you shouldn’t try to “season blend” and how it kills the point of being single.  By that most people mean dating, or what people today call dating.  I’m not actually going to write about that(some of you are very relieved by that.)  What I am going to write about is “singlemindedness”, and that isn’t quite the right word… but I’m making it be the right word, because I can.  :-)

Lots of single people aren’t really single in their minds… they don’t have a significant other in reality, but the opposite sex is always on their mind.  They are always wondering if every male/female they meet is “the one” or trying to figure out and analyze everyone’s actions to find out if the person “likes them.”  People walk away from conversations that seem normal and they are thinking in their mind “Does she/he like me?”  “What ’signals’ were they sending?”  I have many times had this problem myself, so don’t take this as me just judging everyone “How could you be so foolish!!”  But it’s refreshing to be around people who don’t always have that on their mind… and I want to like that, I want to be “refreshing” to be around.  I don’t want to look at every member of the opposite sex I meet and try to figure out if they are “the one.”  I really used to be like that for the most part, but in the last few years God has been showing me that focusing on that causes you to miss out on the whole purpose of being single.

And no… the purpose of being single is not to have fun and be lazy, in fact I plan on having lots of fun after I am married.  But, the Bible makes it clear that he who is single is more free to focus on the LORD and the things of God.  Right now, I can serve God in ways that I couldn’t if I was married!  I also have realized certain other things, I am FREE!  Not free to flirt, not free to sleep around with no committments… but free to not be concerned with girls.  Many people veiw not dating as a restriction… it’s really not.  Having your thoughts consumed daily by “who likes me” and “What impression did I give off?” is the restriction.  Being single is only good if you are going to really do it… if your single and not “singleminded” then it is the worse place to be, it really is.  You will really never be content, because you are entertaining your mind with something you’re denying your flesh!  Constantly thinking about and fantasizing about the one you will someday love, or maybe you already do… but saying “No, not now!” to your flesh is really stupid.

What do we do about it?  What we need to do is just be singleminded!!  Is it really that easy?  I have found that it is… as long as you stop yourself BEFORE you get started… it’s like, once you’re used to not thinking about the opposite sex and relationships it’s easy and you look back and think “Man, I’m so much happier now!  Why was I ever so consumed with that?”  You are free to serve God so much more, and you will find yourself reading the Bible more too… because your mind needs somewhere to go.  Also, Jesus becomes much more real and significant when nothing else is clouding your mind and vision… our old youth leader said it like “God likes to hang out in your heart” and I think when we are single, if we are going to do it we need to really make room for Him.

Now… let’s make one thing straight, I think marriage is a great thing!  And I’m not trying to make it sound bad, but trying to blend two seasons of your life is not a great thing.  I think a man and woman falling in love and giving their complete selfs to each other is one of the most amazing things God ever created for us… and I definately think that even though marriage closes some doors for serving God, it opens other ones.  I plan on being married some day, but while I am single I am going to be singleminded!  I find that people who make it obvious that they are always trying to figure out if the people they see are “the one” are annoying to be around… and I don’t want to be annoying.  We don’t need to do God’s job for him, when He wants us to meet the person, it will happen and when He wants us to fall in love with them(may or may not be when you meet them) that will happen.  Right now, He wants to prepare us for that, and prepare us for other things…. and He has things for us that we may miss out on if we are always distracted.  Don’t tease your flesh by always thinking about what you deny it!  It’s not nice :-p

Now… logic and desire?  What can I say… I had all this stuff in mind, and I’m smelly and need a shower cause I’ve worked all morning.  I guess I can still say a little…. what drives your descisions about what you think is right or wrong?  Or rather, about what you will let yourself do.  Is it logic?  Or is it how much you want to do it?  Like… do you look for reasons to do something some people say is wrong because you want to do it?  Do you spend as much time looking for reasons why not to do it as we do reasons to do it?  Logic says… in order to do it, the reasons to do it(X) should be greater than the reasons not to(Y). 

So, if X>Y 

It sort of makes sense to do it.

Many people think “Well… I can’t think of a good enough reason not to do it” Or the classic “Why not?!”

I think we should evaluate our reasons “to do it” and see if they are good enough reasons or just our desire.  Desire is not a good deciding factor in grey area issues…  :-\

Well… just think about that a little next time you approach a subject of controversy.  Make sure you scrutinize the reasons TO do something as much or even more than the reasons NOT to do it.

-James’